Hello. My name is Eric Hunken, and I started this site ; Bpdisorder.info as a site to share my own journey with the many labels of mental illness assigned to me and hopefully to help those that suffer from mental wellness issues, for people who care about themselves or someone who may know someone who may have a mental health disorder.
Here You will find my own Life Story that I put out there to share and hope someone gets some information out of it and realize that sharing mental health issues will lessen the stigma of a Mental Health diagnosis. These are my Labels (diagnoses) Bipolar disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Major Depressive disorder, and Suicide Ideation. I will explore all these here as well as others.
Thank You for your visit.
Here’s a video from one of my favorite Online Video creator
Check out some other Videos I’d like to share…..Here on my Video Page
I read this blog by Wil Wheaton on Tumblr every day, he often writes about depression, today I wanted to share this….
Some one Asked…..I was just wondering, how did you feel when your doctor suggested going on anti-depressants? My therapist of several months suggested it to me today and while logically I know it’s probably a good idea, I can’t help but feel like I’m broken, you know? Like, I’m worse than I thought I was. Did you feel like this or know anyone who felt something similar?
His Answer, and I love this….
First of all, Depression Lies. It tells you that you’re weak and unworthy and terrible and that you’re never going to be able to get out from under it.
Depression lies like that because it wants to protect itself and keep on controlling your life.
Depression is a dick, and I want to encourage you to listen to your therapist and let him or her help you.
Now I want you to imagine that you have a fever, and your whole body hurts, and you’ve been coughing up all sorts of awful gunk for days. You’re miserable, so you go to the doctor.
The doctor says, “oh, you have this terrible infection in your body, so I’m going to give you some medicine to help your body get better, and some other medicine to help you not suffer while your body works on that.”
Imagine that you then say, “I don’t want to do that, because I feel sort of broken if I take those medications. I feel like I’m weak or something, and if I take those medications that you know will help me feel better, I’m admitting that my body needs some help so I can stop suffering. I think I’ll keep on suffering and hope it gets better.”
Or you go to your doctor because you’ve been feeling crummy and she runs some tests and she says, “Well, it turns out that you have diabetes, but you’re in luck! You can take some medicine, and it’ll treat it. You’ll probably have to take it for a long time, maybe even your whole life, but you’ll get well and feel better!”
Do you say, “No, I think I’ll just deal with it,” and continue suffering?
Of course not! You would treat any illness with medication if you could, and you’d put a cast on a broken leg and walk with crutches if you needed to, because walking on a broken leg really really really hurts, and you don’t need to suffer through that pain!
Mental illness is exactly the same as a physical illness. Your body has something that’s out of whack – in our case, it’s how our brains handle neurochemicals and stuff – and there’s medication that can help us help ourselves feel better.
You’re not broken, and you’re not weak, and if you’re now thinking that you’re worse than you thought you were? Well, that’s really awesome, because it means that you recognize that your brain needs some help to get healthy, and your doctor is there to help you do that.
It takes courage to take the chance on medication, and the first one you try may not work, because brains are all different and incredibly complicated, but something will work, and you will feel better, and you will be so glad that you took the step to take care of yourself.
Here is a link to an article on “The Huffington Post Canada” website regarding some thing to think about in the coming year to improve your mental Health. I think its worth a read:
The 16 points include:
How did you stop self harming? I’m having a hard time trying to stop and really need some motivation or advice
TW: self harm & suicide attempt mention.
I’m sorry you’re having a hard time finding healthy ways to cope with overwhelming emotions /: I’m trying to think of a few things that helped me, but I should say beforehand that I have definitely relapsed in the last two years since I posted about not self harming in over a year, and that that also doesn’t mean I’m not getting a lot better, or that you can’t either.
I’d been self harming for a long time but there was a year where I just really lost it. I couldn’t cope with anything, and I was self harming/attempting suicide often. I was camming at the time and covering up my marks became a serious issue, and I felt utterly horrible for lying to my cam friends about relapsing. I felt like I had no control and that I couldn’t keep from doing it again, so why worry them? (I’ve since realized that my members would have likely been really supportive, which I could have really used, but that’s just another reason I have for trying to open up to people I love now. Anywho) One really frustrating failed suicide attempt later, I realized that that was it for me. If I couldn’t die, I had to live. I know that sounds horrible and that’s not how I feel really now, but it was enough for me at the time to try and move forward.
I started setting goals for my skin. I started taking care of my scars and thinking about the tattoos I wanted to cover them. I figured if I cover the spots I’m most likely to self harm, I’ll stop because I love my tattoos. Any reasonable tattoo artist will not tattoo you in an area where you have fresh scar tissue either, so going as long as possible without self harming was a must.
I also started telling people I trusted that I had a serious problem that I needed support to get through. I told some people who were awful about it, and others who were really understanding and helpful to me, but overall I’m glad I reached out to people.
When I’m feeling the need to self harm now, and I can’t find any other way to calm down/ground myself (venting to someone, creative outlets, whatever), I’ll hold an ice cube in my closed fist until I can’t anymore. If that’s not enough, sometimes I’ll run the ice up&down my skin.
If that doesn’t work, I go to sleep. Sleep is a great emotional reset button, but not so good if it’s your main or only source of coping.
The times that I’ve relapsed were due to not even trying other methods of grounding first, on top of letting my support system dwindle. I have to make the healthy choice, every time, and I’m not going to lie to you and say it gets easier every time. Taking care of your mental health requires consistency for anyone. You’re going to need to make the choice to find and use healthy coping alternatives and continue to choose that every time you need it. It’s not easy but it is 110% worth it and I can say with earth shaking certainty that I’m so fucking glad I’m here today to make that choice.
It’s super brave to speak out about things like this, and it’s really important that we do, because someone is reading this for the first time and realizing that they are not alone. someone is reading this for the first time and deciding that it’s time to get help, so they can start living the rest of their life.
I have not said anything about this subject before because I’m afraid that this subject may trigger someone or even myself as self-harm was a part of my life too, thankfully I had support and no longer hurt myself in this away. I too believe that it is an important subject and does need to be talked about and shared. I am hoping anyone who needs help seeks it out and gets real help.